


The Drunken Fool and her Guard

by Audds



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23148925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Audds/pseuds/Audds
Summary: Love is the court jester, Less is part of the royal guard.
Kudos: 1





	The Drunken Fool and her Guard

**Author's Note:**

> Hey its my first time posting here! I was just excited to write a story that was around 1,500 that I wanted to show it off! (just kidding (kinda)) All original characters if you have any questions lets figure this stuff out together!

It was a late night at the Blue Steed, a loud night. It was when outside city crowds came to visit that it really got rowdy. The sudden increase of gold in locals’ pockets made for many a memorable night. And so it was a late, but profitable, night at the Blue Steed. Jacob was on the stage playing his unique instrument, whose name only he could pronounce. Torgan was at his place behind the counter serving up slices of meat and potato pies, anyone who knew him could tell he missed the sweets. And Love was making her rounds of the place, stopping a couple of minutes at each table until she got some laughs and some drink from each patron. By the sixth table, it was clear that this task of smiles and booze might have been too big an undertaking. So Love made herself at home at the bench by the door, whatever sober voice in her head was already berating her for her stupidity.

The Blue Steed was by no doubt the most popular place in the walls of the city, despite how close it was to the castle. The royals were happy enough to see it help the economy so any ill thoughts they had from the noise was normally kept to themselves. It was also the only place any of the royal guards went, if and when they had the time. It was close enough where on short notice they could be where they needed to be. But the royalty was in a meeting that not even the guard could be involved in, so tonight many made their way to the tavern. 

So at some point or another, a stream of royals started to come into the bar. “If I knew y’all traveled in packs I would have had a bet going on how many tight collars we were gonna see tonight.” The voice of Love was a little gravely as she sat up from the bench. “Be careful there fellas! If they let loose this whole place is gonna fill up with hot air!” Thankfully most of the Royal Guards knew Love, joked with her even. Many even enjoyed the company. But there are always new recruits.

“Hell there are a lot of you today, King and Queenie finally got the pet poodle they were talking about?” Love nods to herself. “ I did always say they needed an upgrade to their security.”

*Jacob tries desperately not to laugh and breaks a string*

If Love was sober in any sense of the word she would have seen one of the guards break from their group. A new face. A quite angry face.

“Oy! Where do you get off, telling off the guard like that?”

“Normally upstairs, but-”

“SHUT UP! What is it with you fools, just because you’ve got some folks to laugh at your sad state in life doesn't mean you get to shit on good working folks!”

“Listen, buddy, maybe I would take whatever your sayin seriously if you could shave your face without cutting off so much skin. Did you go through puberty yesterday? I can teach you how to hold a razor if it’ll help.”

The young man says nothing as he fumes in anger, holding Love up by her collar.

“Anything for our troops, you know.” Love playfully pats him on the side of his face.

Still not saying anything, the man throws Love up to the wall. Still holding on to her collar. 

She couldn't help it, the corner of the wall stole her breath, a painful moan was all she could manage. The man took some joy in that, in some sick way and only looked at her struggle to regain her breath. 

“Is this the part. Where. I ask where you get off? Because I have a feeling you are a sick bastard.” Love manages to say through a pained smile, her gold tooth showing. 

The man's face started to turn dark again, but not before Love cleared her throat. And spit onto his face.

If it was just the two of them, Love might’ve died that night. The murderous look in his eyes was truthfully terrifying. But the rest of the Guard and most of the patrons were up at this point. And pulled him off her. Where he was taken she didn’t care, she just needed some space. Nothing like being choked in a room full of familiar faces to make a girl want to be outside.  
\----------  
\----------  
The rest of the Guards came shortly after. Less followed up the rear of the second group. She never did like cleaning duty, but it was over now so it's not like it mattered much. Besides! She liked the Blue Steed. She might never admit it, but knowing that it was Love’s preferred grounds might have helped that fact for her. Thank goodness it was so close to home. While she was cleaning, the place looked lively as ever. Which brings into question the strange mood that was settled over the place now. Less wasn’t as personable as others, she wasn't sure how to break through the strange mood. It looked like the Bard was taking a break from the stage as well. He and Love were peas in a pod. She couldn’t help but look for her. Less took a deep breath and walked over to the bard.  
“Hey! Uh..” She hoped that he knew she was talking to him.  
“You are a friend of Love’s, right?”  
“Yeah! That’s me! I’m Jacob, nice to meet you!”  
Still looking around Less sticks out her hand in greeting. “Is Love not here tonight?”  
Jacob shakes her hand, and says “Oh! Yeah about that, I think she’s still around here somewhere, but one of the guards took her jests a little too personally and threw her against the wall, thankfully everyone was able to break it up. I’ve been too busy performing to check up on her.”  
Less’ eyes snap back onto Jacob, “A guard threw her against the wall? Which one?”  
“Uhh, I couldn’t see very well from where I was, but I didn’t recognize his face, I think he’s new”  
Less felt her face flush in anger. Why would someone throw Love to the wall? Sure she joked around but. But what she didn’t know. Turning quickly on her heel she starts walking towards the group of newbies. She searched their faces, looking for what? A black eye? A busted lip? But surprisingly she felt some disappointment to find them all unharmed. Did she even fight back? Everyone seemed taken by their mugs of ale, and she didn’t know who she was looking for at all. But before she could give up.

SLAM

She turned her head, it was one of the new recruits. He had a cut on his jaw that he kept rubbing, it looked like a small nick from a razor. He seemed angry, and the longer she looked the more angry glances came his way. She could almost hit herself, of course, she fought back. Less forgot how sharp her tongue could get when she didn’t like someone.  
Taking a deep breath Less pulled up a chair to where the new man sat, stewing in his solitude.

“Hey. Matthew right?”

“Yeah.”

“What’s with the mood in here?”

“I dunno.” He takes a long drink from his mug.

“Hmm.” Less squinted her eyes at him. “You sure you don't know? You don’t have to be nervous around me. Scared by me even.”

It was his turn to glare at her. “I ain't scared of no lady. Even if you are brass.”

“Hmm.”

“DONT hmm me.” She could swear she saw a vein on his forehead started to pop out. “All you birds are the same, talk too much.”

She didn't say anything this time, listening.

“Hell, a year ago I'd do to you what I did to that fruit jester. I’m a reformed man!”

Less wasn’t much of a wordsmith. But her heavy boot ground itself right into the bastard's foot.

The look of shock on his face was quickly overcome with pain. None of the other guards moved to stop her, despite being one of the only women on the force she was a known force and if you knew better you don't fuck with Less. So they just watched as she stood from their table and emptied the rest of his mug onto his head, while he was crouched over in pain. And everyone in that bar knew he deserved it.

She left shortly after that. Less didn’t know why but her eyes were hot with tears. It’s not that she stood up to this random man. If she had to guess why.

“Hey, Less.”

Her head snapped up as she heard the voice come from above her. She quickly wiped her eyes before looking up. And there was Love, sitting on the awning of the neighboring general market.

“Why are you up there.” Less says, stopping herself from saying that she should be getting some sort of help. She saw the corner where she was thrown up, if the wall looked that messed up she couldn’t imagine.

“I find that being taller than an angry guard is as good a way as any to not get caught by one.” Love responded, her typical sarcastic energy was barely there. It might’ve been a real answer this time.

“Are you okay?” Stupid question, they weren’t even friends really, and she could tell that she wasn’t.

“I’ll be a lot worse when the booze wears off.”

Less didn’t like the answer, she felt her nose scrunch up.

“...Sorry, I’m having a hard time thinking of something entertaining to say. Here give me a second and I’ll put a spin on things.”

Love clears her throat and smiles. “You know the last time I cleared my throat I ended up spitting on-”

“You really are a fool.” Less says, cutting off Love.  
“Why didn’t you fight him off, Love?”

“I couldn’t”

“You could have!” Less said bitterly. She has seen Love work on her act, she knows she is plenty strong enough to fight off a clumsy drunk.

Love sits up some and looks down to Less. “Okay Less, I could’ve fought him. Do you know what would have happened? All of a sudden the local jail would have a new act.” She sighed, actual frustration creeping into her voice. “It's like you said, I'm just a fool. If I were to make him out to be one too, they would toss me in a cell without a second thought.”

Less didn’t think about that, she imagined some of her fellow guards would find humor in Love becoming a jailbird. 

“Less help me down.”

That brought her back from her troubled thoughts. And she does. It hurts to see Love smile through the obvious pain.”

“You are still drunk.”

“You are still here.”


End file.
